The Graduate Trainee’s Guide to Campaign

August 31, 2006

This is rather funny and sadly true all at once, just in time for the kind of Friday that precedes a working weekend. Accounts people will appreciate it more. Link

What is Campaign?
If you don’t know by now, pay attention. It’s the industry rag. It only matters if you work in advertising. If you don’t, you will have no idea what headlines like “New Zealand lamb plans ad fightback” mean, and you probably won’t want to know either.

When does it come out?
Thursday morning. You will probably see your board account director disappearing into his or her office with a cup of coffee and a packet of Marlboro Lights. They will shut their door, and all will go silent. Then you will hear mumbling, some coughing, a sarcastic laugh and a “fucking hell” when they realise that someone they trained with at Ogilvy in 1903 has just been made managing director of an agency that is better than yours. Your BAD will be in a bad mood all morning, so make sure there aren’t any typos in your contact report, otherwise you’ll be in all kinds of trouble.

Will I get to read it on Thursday?
The day you get your own copy (you know it’s yours if a label with your name on it is stuck to the bag), is the day you’ve arrived. Until then, you will get your hands on it on Friday afternoon after everyone else has had a go. It will will be encrusted with coffee stains and remnants of Pret egg mayonnaise sandwiches, and you may find that a junior copywriter has wiped snot on the review of Weiden’s latest Honda campaign. Many of the photographs of senior industry figures will have been disfigured with comedy glasses and moustaches or (occasionally), enormous cocks growing out of their foreheads. The ladies will have acquired gigantic bosoms and hats.

So, all the journalists at Campaign worked in advertising once, right?


3 Responses to “The Graduate Trainee’s Guide to Campaign”

  1. clientwrangler said

    And you can, of course, read the whole lot at

  2. clientwrangler said

    Sorry mate – didn’t see the clickthrough! x

  3. no worries, i’ve moved it to a more prominent spot now. liking your blog very much!

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